At Humber, we recognize that we all have a responsibility in preventing and addressing sexual violence. Sexual violence is rooted in gender-based violence, and so men may feel that it is a "women's issue"; however, we acknowledge that men must also take action and hold one another accountable. The Survey on Individual Safety in the Postsecondary Student Population (Statistics Canada, 2019) found that men were less likely to view unwanted sexualized behaviours as harmful, twice as likely to think people are too offended by unwanted sexualized behaviours, and the perpetrators of unwanted sexualized behaviours are more often men.

The Men Seeking Change working group encourages men to reflect on behaviours that could cause harm to others and to intervene when they see these behaviours happening. We will be sharing examples of inappropriate behaviours and ways men could intervene in these behaviours over March and April as a reminder to take action and maintain our culture of respect.

Unhealthy Behaviour: Unwanted physical contact or getting too close.

Example: Delia (she/her) is talking with her coworkers Xavier (he/him), Marcela (she/her), and Cameron (she/her) in the boardroom after a meeting has just ended. Jason (he/him) pops in to say hello to everyone, and while he’s chatting, he gives Delia’s shoulders a gentle massage. Jason leaves and Xavier returns to his office.

What could Xavier have done differently?

Xavier could have stayed behind to check in with Delia one-on-one to see how she felt about the shoulder massage. Xavier could also have had a conversation with Jason as he left about how the shoulder massage was inappropriate and could have made Delia uncomfortable.

Example: Moe (she/her), Reid (they/them), Prasanna (he/him) and Tony (he/him) always get coffee together in the morning. While in the line, Tony always stands very close behind Reid, which makes them feel quite uncomfortable. Prasanna notices that Tony is standing so close to Reid that his hands brush against their skin when he makes any movements. Prasanna orders his coffee and heads off to his class.

What could Prasanna have done differently?  

Prasanna could have made a light joke about how there’s plenty of space in line without Tony needing to be standing up against Reid to cue Tony to change his behaviours. Alternatively, Prasanna could have taken Reid aside to check in with them, or taken Tony aside to note his observations.