At Humber, we recognize that we all have a responsibility in preventing and addressing sexual violence. Sexual violence is rooted in gender-based violence, and so men may feel that it is a "women's issue"; however, we acknowledge that men must also take action and hold one another accountable. The Survey on Individual Safety in the Postsecondary Student Population (Statistics Canada, 2019) found that men were less likely to view unwanted sexualized behaviours as harmful, twice as likely to think people are too offended by unwanted sexualized behaviours, and the perpetrators of unwanted sexualized behaviours are more often men.

The Men Seeking Change working group encourages men to reflect on behaviours that could cause harm to others and to intervene when they see these behaviours happening. We will be sharing examples of inappropriate behaviours and ways men could intervene in these behaviours over March and April as a reminder to take action and maintain our culture of respect.

Unhealthy Behaviour: Repeated pressure for dates or sexual activity.

Example: Mitch (he/him) messages his coworker, Callum (he/him), on Tinder asking if he would like to go out on a date. Callum declines and Mitch asks three more times, saying Callum should give him a chance and that he promises it’ll be a great date. Mitch tells his friend, Alvin (he/him), about the repeated rejections and Alvin encourages him to keep trying.

What could Alvin have done differently?

Alvin could have told Mitch that it seems clear that Callum is not interested, and that it probably makes Callum uncomfortable to have to keep being asked out by his coworker.

Example: Sanjay (he/him) has seen Nick (he/him) repeatedly pressure Vidya (she/her) to go out with him. Sanjay dismisses the interactions as none of his business.

What could Sanjay have done differently?

Sanjay could have checked in with Vidya to see how she feels about the repeated pressure for dates. Sanjay could also talk to Nick one-on-one and explain that it seems evident that Vidya is not interested, and Nick should stop.